Here I Go (from where I am)

Here we are more than half way through 2015 and I haven’t blogged since Christmas day 2014 but here it is:

And so it begins. . . How do I deal with these feelings and uncontrollable tears? Not tears of sadness but tears of joy, pride and accomplishment. Two weeks ago, Kevin and I moved our youngest child to Los Angeles, a city 1800 miles from home. Not a quick-jump-in-the-car-and-go-visit kind of place; but rather, a four hour plane ride. Yes, I miss her terribly but more than that, I am so proud of her and what she is doing with her life. She finally got her internet service set up and today I read her first Blog about her adventures in LA. This is going to be a time of growth for all of us. Kevin and I will have to learn to adjust to this empty nest and nourish our own relationship while being supportive of the new lifestyles of our two beautiful, God-fearing, accomplished daughters.

God entrusted us with these two beautiful girls; and, well, I feel like we succeeded in raising two young ladies who are honoring Him with their lives. Recently, after our return from LA, Kevin informed Stephanie that she is now the “only daughter we have left,” and she has to come around and visit more often. Obviously, he meant the only daughter we have left in town. Stephanie is my Sunshine and Becca is my Cookie. (Two things in life that I cannot live without!) Stephanie not only brings light to our lives as a family, but she exudes the light of Christ every day. In her job as a nurse practitioner, she takes care of very ill patients with such an attitude of compassion for the patient and a desire to bring comfort and quality to their lives and encouragement to make it through their challenging days one day at a time. She brings them hope. In her role as a daughter and a sister, she brings joy and satisfaction. She listens to us and she acts on what she hears. She is truly my Sunshine on any given day, especially, the cloudy ones.

Becca is on a mission with City Year to bring hope to the lives of young students to make it all the way through school to the ultimate prize: Graduation. She is learning to live on very little income, public transportation and with three roommates she has never met before now. And did I mention she is in a city 1800 miles from home? I look forward to seeing what God has planned for her and the lives she will influence every day. I know that through her interactions with these students, teachers, school administrators and other City Year workers, she will grow. I believe she will gain more from these new friends in her life than they will gain from her. Don’t misunderstand me, she will undoubtedly make a beautiful impact on their lives; but from experience, I know the true sense of fulfillment received when you genuinely invest yourself in listening to, learning from and caring for others.

So what’s next for me? I don’t know. All I know is God has tasked me with being available for my family, my friends and my colleagues; honoring Him by showing up every day seeking His direction; and to continue my education at Saint Louis University.  Whatever is next for me, I will be ready.  Will you?

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’” Isaiah 6:8.

Flashback, January 10, 2014.  My first blog is complete and published.  Now, I am going to blog again next month and the next and then once a month from here on, forever.  Ha!  I haven’t written another blog until today.   Well, today, Christmas Day, I am travelling.  I am flying to DC to spend time with my brother and his family.  Since I am travelling alone today, I have plenty of “me” time to think and reflect and, well, express myself in the form of my second blog of the year.  The year 2014 began for me on one very specific track but shortly into the year took a pivot.  A friend of mine recently said to me, “Denise, you have really done a 180.”  Well, she’s right.  In January, I was working as an office manager and pursuing a Bachelor of Arts in Organizational Studies with a minor in hospitality.  In March, however, things took a turn for me.  Those of you who are closest to me know the details.  Everyone else, all you need to know is my heart was broken and the winds began to change for me.  Recently, my youngest daughter compared me to a butterfly, spreading my wings and breaking out of that darn cocoon I’ve been hanging out in for so long.

You may be wondering, what has changed?  A LOT!  I have stepped out of my comfort zone and explored new avenues out there in this big world.  (I highly recommend this, by the way)  I have spoken my heart and my mind in circumstances where I would have just held it all in a year ago.  I have rappelled 200 feet down the side of a 17 story Hotel in downtown St. Louis with a friend.  The rapelling was part of a fundraising event for Special Olympics, which I challenge you to try at some point!!!  In May, I returned to my career as a freelance court reporter, updating all my technology, committing to perfecting my skill, becoming very familiar with my new software and pursuing further certifications.  I changed my educational course to a Bachelor of Arts in Criminal Justice and Security Management.  As a court reporter, the criminal cases have always intrigued me.  So, I thought, why not?  Who knows where this education will take me, but I’m staying the course!  I am sad to see 2014 go as it has been a year of change, growth, accomplishment and celebration for my family and me; but I would not want to cheat myself out of all the new adventures 2015 will bring.  So, cheers to the New Year!!!!

Earlier, I was perusing trendycovers.com looking for a new cover photo with a quote on it for my Facebook page.  After scouring several pages of photos and quotes, many of which were just plain inappropriate and many I thought, “I like that one.  I will come back to it,” I saw it, the perfect one.  It is a picture of a sunrise with three simple words, “Watch me Rise.”  These words represent what God has called me to do, “rise.”  In early 2013, in His still small voice, God said to me, “Go bigger.”  Well, okay, I will go bigger, God, whatever that means, I said aloud.  Six months later, I found myself enrolled in the School for Professional Studies at a local university.  That is certainly “bigger.”  God has called me to rise to a higher level with the responsibilities, gifts and resources He has entrusted to me, leadership being one of them.  I desire to be more of a teacher than just a facilitator in Wednesday night Bible study.  I want to be and do more for God.

Another new thing God has called me to do in 2013 is I am now participating in writing workshops.  Through my newfound education, I have rediscovered my love of writing.  How coincidental that just as I was beginning my new education and rediscovering my love of writing, these online workshops were also just beginning.  So, of course, I promptly signed up.  So far I am feeling a bit intimidated in this arena, but that will change in time.  God will continue to direct my path.  I have now had three classes and three different instructors, all of which have been incredibly positive and encouraging figures in my life.

I want to take what I know of God’s love and mercy and spread it around our surrounding communities.  God has opened doors for me to become more involved with our local food pantry.  I have had meetings and communications with the program director and one of the board members.  I am now officially a part of their special events committee.  God will use me in this capacity to impact the lives of hundreds of people.  I will have a part in serving the hundreds of people who will come to the special events and will in turn contribute to the needs of the hundreds of people who will utilize the pantry.

Finally, I have committed to lifting my husband up in prayer every single day, asking for God to pour out his love and blessings on him, bringing him joy, direction and protection.

I write this from my heart with a hope that I can be a living example of inspiration of how choosing obedience to God and remaining diligent in your calling can and will have a positive influence on your life.  I pray that you might find some encouragement in my story today.  Choose to be obedient to His call and just watch with wonder and amazement at where he will take you and how he will use you to further His kingdom.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.